Secrets That Women Wish You Knew

March 6, 2018

A loving man is a handsome man.
What do women want? For those of you who have pondered this question, here are 19 relationship secrets. They are based on a study of healthy, happy couples and our ever-changing gender roles. Secret #1: Women appreciate a man with a sensitive side, especially when they’re upset. Put your arm around her and hand her a tissue. Nurturing is a powerful form of communication.

There’s still a place for chivalry.
When it comes to romance, many women do prefer men in traditional male roles. This is especially true in the courtship phase of a relationship, according to psychologist Dr. Diana Kirchner, who has written several books on love. She’s perfectly capable of pulling out a chair or opening a door on her own, but if you see her hesitating, she may just be waiting for you to become a gentleman.

dress appropriately
Styles come and go, but a man’s attention to his grooming and dress should be long lasting. It’s important for women from the first flirtation to the honeymoon and beyond.” You have to figure out if she has a certain look she likes,” says Kirschner.” If she likes a guy who wears skinny jeans, you wear skinny jeans.”

Boys wear red, girls wear red.
Well, the tip didn’t come from a woman, but from a psychologist’s clever test of women’s subconscious preferences. An intriguing study found that the color red makes men look more powerful, attractive, and sexually desirable to women. But there’s a caveat. Red doesn’t make men appear better or kinder. That’s partly up to you to decide.

Don’t hide your flaws.
According to love guru Kirshner, nothing captures a woman’s heart more than a man who wants to be a better man.” Women like personal growth, they like a man who is caring and sensitive”. She likes her man to recognize his flaws – like being grumpy or often moping around after work – and likes him to work on that problem.

Don’t try to fix her world.
When something is bothering her, she wants your ear, not your advice.” Men feel the need to solve problems because they’re solution-oriented,” says Kirschner.” But for women, really listening is a wonderful, wonderful thing that can deepen a relationship.”

Nodding is not enough.
Listening is important, but she also wants to know that someone is listening to her. Nodding your head is not an option.Kirschner says that when she pauses, she’s giving you a cue to respond in a sympathetic, caring way. If she tells you she’s upset because her boss has given her a hard time, she wants to hear you say, “I’m sorry that today’s work has been a drag for you.” And remember. Resist the urge to offer solutions.

Date 3 is not a bedroom key.
The three-date rule before sex is an urban legend. Women don’t set a schedule for when to invite a potential partner into the bedroom. Some women will want many dates before sex. A good rule of thumb is to give the relationship at least two months to develop before entering the sexual arena.

Women like the slow lane.
Men often want to take the quickest route to sex. But many women prefer the scenic route.” Women want sex, but they get it in a different way,” says psychologist Kirschner, who has helped hundreds of couples achieve more rewarding relationships.” They want to feel connected and understood, and they want romance.” And that means time, conversation and touch-in other words, foreplay.

Safe sex is a thrill.
It’s something you both need to focus on, but Kirschner says women appreciate it and feel more protected when a man makes it clear it’s an issue for him – and then shows her that he practices what he preaches.

Find out what she wants in bed.
Women do like to talk to people about the bag, they want to please their man – and a tactful approach is often the best. Ask her what she likes. Be sure to ask what you want in a positive, confirming way.Kirschner suggests saying something like, “I really like you [fill in the blank].”

Performance anxiety is shared
She will also feel bad when you have an off night and can’t perform. She may worry that she doesn’t turn you on anymore, and she’ll want to make sure that’s not true. She’ll want to talk about what’s going on and what you’re doing, especially if it’s a recurring issue.” It’s a sensitive thing for both of you,” says Kirschner, “but talking about it is a plus.”

The mirror is the barometer of love.
Remember the saying, “Imitation is the highest form of flattery”? Women often communicate how she feels about you by mimicking your emotions and actions. She might order a meal that matches you, wear your favorite color, or when you smile or cross your arms. Imitation is her way of putting you at ease and letting you know she’s attractive.

Your shirt could be a love magnet.
Does your partner curl up in your sweater, or sneak into your work shirt? Some researchers have found that the smell of men’s sweat has a relaxing effect on women.c.

says, over and over again.
Women like to be told they look good, and they like a man who doesn’t have to be told to notice them. For example, when she’s wearing a sexy new dress, she’ll give you a big compliment for telling her how sexy she looks, especially if you mention it before she does. If she looks especially attractive, if she has a new haircut, if she looks healthier – let her hear it.

Don’t be afraid to fall in love.
When your woman wants to talk about the relationship, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong (well, not necessarily).Kirschner says many women like to talk about the “state of the union”-what’s right, what’s wrong, or just what’s going on. And that’s a good thing. An honest, wide-ranging conversation can bring the two of you closer together.

Look your partner in the eye.
You may feel more comfortable sitting side-by-side, but many women prefer face-to-face time – and we’re not talking about the latest mobile video chat technology.Kirschner says women prefer their men to make eye contact with them while they’re talking. And looking her in the eye during sex can deepen relationships beyond the bedroom.

Don’t miss this moment.
How do you know if she’s ready? She’ll talk. Women tend to be very open about this. But they don’t want to “talk” often. If she’s ready, and she’s given you the time, the next time the subject comes up, be ready to either go up or down.

Romance is easy, keep it coming.
Romance is something she’ll always want, whether you’ve been together for two months or 20 years. Flowers, an intimate dinner, a few love poems – don’t worry, they don’t have to be your own – may sound clich√©, but Kirschner insists that most women appreciate this simple romantic gesture, and often don’t show their appreciation until the lights go out.